I work at a large retail store and everyday I hear or see something that hurts my heart. A mommy or daddy saying things to their little ones that should never be said. What you say to children or say around them can have a huge negative impact on their little hearts.
Little ones look to us 'Big People' for guidance, and to teach them how to speak to other people. They look to us for comfort and security.
Here are some things that should be a good reminder to stop yourself from saying or doing any of these things.
#1. Don't Ever Say You Hate Someone or Something
Definition: Intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger or sense of injury
Hate is a very strong word. If you say 'hate' often and have children you should really try and stop. You wouldn't want your child going to school saying she hates this little girl, she hates her teacher, she hates her dinner!
Sure she can dislike something, and have her own opinion. But try teaching her new ways of expressing her emotions. Instead of hate try dislike.
#2. Never Talk Badly About Your Body or Your Appearance
This one is very important to me and I feel it is essential that we teach our children that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and that everybody's body is beautiful.
We should never talk badly about our bodies. If your child hears you saying 'Oh my belly is too fat. My hair is to frizzy. My legs are too jiggly!' Your children will grow up thinking they are not good enough. That they are not beautiful. Our children need to grow up feeling confident, and feel good about themselves.
Another big thing is NEVER EVER talk badly about another persons body or appearance in front of your children. We don't want them to see us being negative and judgmental towards others. They will grow up to be negative and rude to people.
#3. Watch Your Temper!
One of the saddest things I see at work is how quickly a parents' patience runs out and their tempers flare and suddenly they are yelling and cursing at their children. Calling their children rude names, telling them they are stupid. Their little hearts get hurt and they cry. The crying then makes the parents even more angry! Well what do you expect?
When your child misbehaves or does something you don't appreciate, calmly and firmly explain to them what they are doing wrong and show them how they can fix it. Show them that you need to apologize for misbehaving. If they have made a big mess, help them clean it up. If they hurt another child have them apologize and explain to them why it is not nice to hurt someone. If they wander off at the supermarket explain to them that it makes you very worried and someone could steal them from you.
Make shopping a fun time. Teach your little ones about different foods and where they come from. Ask them what their favourite food is and why. Have them help you count out the apples.
Yelling and swearing at your children is just mean. And it teaches them that yelling and swearing is acceptable behaviour when dealing with things they don't like. They need to be taught that being calm and respectful is how you deal with things that aren't always in our favor. You can't always get what you want, and overreacting and freaking out is not how you deal with it.
It's okay to lose your temper once in a while. It is okay to get angry. But how you deal with it afterwards is important. Apologize, calm down.
I am sure I could add a lot more, and I probably will in the future.
Hope you all have a beautiful weekend filled with love and happiness.
